A Mother's Ode to her son, on his 13th Birthday

HAPPY 13th BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST ELDER SON A MOM AND DAD COULD ASK FOR! -- Christian, when we were waiting for you to arrive, all we prayed for was your good health, we felt to ask for anything more would be selfish and decided to concentrate on the most important thing. So with your good health, our prayers have been answered. With everything else you have brought to our lives and Little Michael's, you have more than surpassed our wildest dreams. You have all of the best qualities of Mom and Dad and only a few of our worst. From Daddy, you received the greatest, most important quality in a man: Loyalty. You are a loyal son, brother and friend to the point where it can be a problem. Now, you are a bigger boy -- but even when you were a little runt, you would stick up for your less fortunate friends and your little brother, even if it meant you were the one to take a whooping. And that quality has made you a great teammate, just right for the sport of crew. Your loyalty to your family, friends and teammates is inspiring. Last year, you asked me to promise that if we didn't have enough money to save the NFA Crew Team, that we would take it out of your college account, so the team could go on. (Fortunately, it didn't come down to that). Also from Daddy, you received your great diplomacy, your ability to see the big picture, your analytical mind, his beautiful blue eyes, and of course, something you didn't get from me: your incredible eye-hand co-ordination. From your Mother, I am trying to give you a little insight into what it means to have a sister. Don't get me wrong, I will always be your Mother first and will always discipline you. But boys that grow up with sisters really have a better understanding of Female World, so when I kid around with you mercilessly, that is because you don't have a sister to do it, and once in a while, I have to think what would your hypothetical Big Sister say in this situation. I am also very careful to remember my grandmother's advice about my brother. Which is to be nice to every girl he would bring home. Because (in your case), I never know who might end up being my daughter in law someday and having control over whether I see my grandchildren. Maybe changing my Depends LOL! You are a great son, a great older brother, a true and loyal friend, and a great teammate. You have been a world class coxswain, and you are just starting your career as a rower. Whether I have been watching Tiny Christian at coxswain, one hand firmly on the rudder, screaming at your rowers that this is where champions are made and give you a Power 10 NOW, or whether I am watching you come in DFL, rowing stroke in that BDMS boat I love so much, the littlest kids in the race, trying so hard every stroke, or just watching you cox an 8+ into the Boathouse, I swell with pride every time I see you in action. And let's face it, I pretty much never miss a meet, unless Little Michael has a feis. I love that I can share this sport and this rowing world with you, I love that you let me do that, that the coaches let me, that the kids let me. I feel that by the time this whole rowing career of yours is said and done, we will have a pretty unique bond, given my role as Team Mom. Wow, this is pretty long! Time to wrap it up and get ready for your birthday party. If anyone has stuck with me and read through this whole thing, thank you! Happy Birthday, Christian, Mommy and Daddy and Little Michael LOVE you!  Mrs. Lo (LOL)

Last Week of School -- Whatever you do, don't Blink!

This is the last week of school at BDMS.  It's a crazy busy week, as always.  This week we will fit in Field Day, Michael's Class Play ("Charlotte's Web," he's Templeton), the Annual Last Day of School Party at LoBiondoFork on Thursday, the teacher's gifts on the last day of school including the scrapbooks I make them, the NFA Crew Team Dinner Thursday night, and on Friday, the mother of all parties, Christian's 13th Birthday party and the San Miguel Academy Crew Team Graduation Party at LoBiondoFork.  P.S., I still have that other gig going on called being a lawyer and running the Law Office.  The personal planning that goes into this Week rivals anything I have ever seen at any organization I have ever run or worked for, it takes months to get through this week.  But I wouldn't trade it for anything.  One moment your little guy is walking off the stage, graduating from pre-K, the next thing you know, they will be walking off the stage graduating from Middle School, then high school.  A few dollars at Sams Club and a lot of late nights of cleaning and planning and scrapbooking is a small price to pay, knowing that every major moment happened at my house, and Anthony and I somehow never missed a field trip, or a class play, a crew meet, a soccer game, a feis, you name it.  That is the reason why God created two parents, to be able to cover all of these childhood events. Well, there was that one time, because when Mrs. Lo messes up, it's on a grandscale.  In pre-school, I missed Parent Day.  That's right, Little 3 year old Michael had no parent on Parent Day.  Apparently, it was supposed to be a "Mother's Day" party but to be politically correct they renamed it Parent Day, which meant absolutely nothing to me.  So one of my friends "adopted" (thanks, Krissy Patsolos) Little Michael for the day.  Because it really does take a village.  Lesson learned:  don't blink, don't think any moment at school is too trivial.  Show up in sweats, show up un-showered, show up in a suit and briefcase, send a grandparent proxy with a handwritten note from you, but remember, whatever you do -- don't blink!  Have a great day, everyone, remember to countyour blessings, and special lots of love to the BDMS Families today, last full day of school!  <3 Mrs. Lo (#picstitch of Little Michael at Union Nursery School, top pic, 2007; bottom left, first day of BDMS 2008; right Christian and Michael and Little Michael's Kindergarten graduation 2009)

"ONE HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW, ...

"ONE HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, or how much money I had I the bank. But the world may be a better place because I made a difference in a child's life." Author Unknown. This is a time of happy endings and new beginnings as well. The 2013 Crew Season, which the NFA Crew Families and supporters worked so hard to raise the money for this past year, will be coming to an end tomorrow with Sectionals. It will be the last crew meet for most of our Senior athletes, although some will go on to row in college.

 It will also be the last time our 8th grade Student Ambassadors row for Newburgh Rowing Club. There will be graduations and tears of joy. Parents will be saying "hasta luego" (until next time) to their seniors going off to college. Mrs. Lo will be saying hasta luego in a month to the Student Ambassadors, the boys who reside in the City of Newburgh, and who were the first ones, two years ago, that we taught to swim and row on scholarships, and who our family loves so much. The Crew Mom Mobile just won't be the same but, as with the college parents, this is what we worked for! The Student Ambassadors have scholarships to go on to fabulous boarding schools, from the Harvey School to Canterbury and St. Benedict's Prep. Some of them will be rowing for these schools. I couldn't be happier. Thanks to my own family, my home is a soft place to land, and when the time comes to say hasta luego to my Student Ambassadors, I will huggle my husband and my own kids that much closer. Happy Friday everyone and PLEASE remember to count your blessings! Have a truly magical day  Mrs. Lo (photo of Little Michael with Najib, Soup, and Kelvin, NYMA Pool Fall 2011)

5/31/2013

Who Are We? It's a Newburgh Crew Team Thing

From June 1, 2013, right before Sectionals.  The NFA Girls and NFA Boys Crew teams each took Second Place overall.

"WHO ARE WE?" - today is going to be a great day, a special day, a tough day. Today is Sectionals for the sport of crew in the HVRL. It's the last day of crew season 2013 for NFA. I will never forget the day the team was eliminated. It was right after we had won a Regatta. The girls who were crying. The girls who knew they needed "varsity" on their applications to row in college, who knew they would have to move school districts to a public high school that had crew, hugging their friends. The boys who refused to cry and looked like they wanted to punch something but you knew were crying on the inside. 72 kids on a varsity team that had been eliminated rowed their entire season, knowing their team officially would not be back the next year, and finished as champions. Not one athlete left for another varsity spring sport. Not one. I remember when the team was reinstated on the condition that we seek funding from the community. I remember sitting at the Boathouse with a core group of crew parents, explaining that it was like this: we could all work very hard to raise the money and you might get families who don't lift a finger but they're as much a part of the team as your kids. My kids go to private school so I know how that kind of thing works. You need to understand that before taking on this massive undertaking to form a 501(c)(3), raise $60,000.00 in the off season, and make sure we are always in the news. We went around the table with about 10 parents, one after another they thought and said, "I'm in," I'm in," and so on. Fundraiser after fundraiser, Big Coach believes there have been 55 in total. But we did it, with the help of so many others, with the help of this community that the media gets down on, Newburgh, came out and helped us. We had our 2013 season. It was wonderful. By one point, we won Counties and remained Orange-Ulster County Champions. Today is Sectionals in Poughkeepsie. I can't believe it, the season we worked so hard for is over. I thought it was hard last year, saying hasta luego to Carlos and Allan and Bourne and the rest. Now, we will say hasta luego to Frankie, Connor, Illenberger, and Kyle and the other seniors. There are always a few that break your heart when they leave, that are like your own family, when they leave, and those would be the ones. They're all going on to blindingly great futures so it's happy but I will not lie to you, my loyal readers, I am sad. The people who were there for Crew Season 2012 and 2013, always remember: You are special. Nobody, but nobody except for you guys could have done what we did. I am so proud of you and I will always tell your story and honor what we did, our families, together, with the coaches. Remember what Big Coach always said: nothing good in life ever comes easy. When Big Coach does our special cheer remember, not only is there no other place we'd rather be, there's no one else we would rather have done this with than you guys. You are not just special, you are extraordinary, I will carry each of you in my heart forever, as will Big Coach. WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU RATHER BE?

The Angel, the Alpha, and the School Lunch

From June 4, 2013

THE ANGEL AND THE ALPHA - they say don't label your kids. However, there is a small asterisk, whereby it's OK if the labels are for purposes of your blog on Facebook. Yesterday, my cherub, Little Michael, came home and said Mommy, you forgot my lunch order again, I had mashed potatoes for lunch. And (NAME OF A CLASSMATE) gave me a chicken mcnugget. As you all know, Mrs. Lo's greatest motherly fault is that I ALWAYS forget to print out and hand in the kids monthly hot lunch order. Someone made Little Michael get off the lunch line. (For those wondering, I am about $75K into this school for tuition and Heaven only knows how much more in extra donations and billable hours but apparently nothing outranks getting that lunch order in on time). Fortunately, Michael has a secret strategy and our Angel Friend helps him out. This strategy got him a "red card" meaning he could eat some "sides." I'm sure he could have chosen fruit or salad but of course he chose the mashed potatoes. Meanwhile there is my 12 yo. By way of example, during Sectionals he bow-coxed his boat with no cox box. This means that instead of sitting facing the rowers, he was in the bow, facing away from them. No big deal if you have a "cox box" which basically is a microphone whereby they can all hear you. He had to turn completely around to yell at them, while holding the rudder with one hand; he couldn't see where they were going he had to judge by the distance from other boats. How was that, I asked him? "All in a day's work" he shrugged and replied. So back to the lunch order, I asked Christian: how come you never complain about mashed potatoes. How do you eat lunch every day? "Like a Boss," he replied. And he wasn't kidding. Lunch order completed and on its way. Have a great day everyone!  Mrs. Lo

MRS. LO'S TAKE ON "LOVING DAY"

From June 12, 2013, "Loving Day" - TIME FOR A MRS. LO STORY, FOR LOVING DAY - June 12 is "Loving Day," a tribute to Mildred and Richard Loving. This married couple was arrested in Viringia in 1958 for violating anti-miscegenation laws, which prohibited inter-racial marriage, specifically between non-whites and whites. Their case went up to the U.S. Supreme Court and on June 12, 1967, the Warren Court handed down its decision in "Loving v. Virginia," striking down anti-miscegenation laws as violative of the equal-protection clause, which is to say, unconstitutional. The couple then returned to Virginia, where they raised a family of three children and remained together until Richard died in a car accident in 1975. Mildred died in 2008. Each year, Loving Day is celebrated for the Lovings and other mixed race couples. Growing up in an inter-racial family in the 1970's was often no picnic for little Mrs. Lo and her brother. But it made me a stronger person, and planted in me an intolerance for intolerance. And so, from Mrs. Lo to everyone who teased or gave me a hard time, due to being "mixed race"  -- I truly thank you -- because I could never have stood up to authority all my life, could never have taken on the challenges I have, could never have been as good a lawyer as I am, and could never have done half the things I've done had it not been for you. I say this without a trace of bitterness, at my age I am at peace with all the storms I have battled through and am thankful for the soft place to land my husband and kids and I have created. And, watching Lolo and Lola (my parents) stick together over 49 years has taught me an indelible lesson in the meaning of true love. Race, gender, same-sex, opposite-sex, socioeconomic status, let it go people, just be at peace with people loving whom they will, and enjoy LOVING day  Mrs. Lo

WHO'S THE PARENT ANYWAY

WHO'S THE PARENT ANYWAY?  Christian has really been insisting that I delete my Instagram account.  "Why would I do that," I asked, "I love Instagram."  It's true, I love taking pictures, I love the hashtags, I love that 90% of the photos for the Hashtag "#Crewmom" are mine.  I put up pictures of my shoes, nailart, rowing, family pics, things I think are interesting.  But my 12 yo son stated his cause so succinctly and on the money, that I had to relent.  Because, Christian answered, "Instagram is for teenagers and you're not a teenager."  True enough and definitely true.  The lesson:  it's really important that we listen to our kids and teach them that they can talk to us about what bothers them, and that the reward is, we will listen and, if necessary, take action.  Here was my 12 yo coming to me with something important to him.   He didn't go to his peers, his coaches, his teachers, he went straight to Mom, with the expectation that Mom would listen. And while I love Instagram, I don't love it as much as I love my son, as much as I want him to grow up to be a good person, not a frustrated kid that gets ignored.  Ever the lawyer, we cut a deal.  If Christian creates a walk in pantry for me out of my junk room by his birthday (June 21), Mrs. Lo will delete Instagram and Vine.  I can, however, keep my 3 Facebook accounts and 2 Twitters, and he will not get Facebook or Twitter (believe me, he's not interested).  So far, the junk room is looking pretty good.  My gosh, these negotiations were like the Versailles Peace Treaty.  But more fun, and I get a walk in pantry out of it.  Who's Henry Kissinger now?  Have a great day, everyone!  <3  #MrsLo