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Friday, September 4, 2015

That Time Mrs. Lo was Attacked by a Cap Sleeve Dress

In today’s Blog, I would like to address the dangers of cap sleeve dresses.  For those of you not familiar with the style, this is any dress with an extremely short sleeve.  Its purpose it so cut off the circulation of anyone caught unaware.  Clearly, this style was designed by someone very mean-spirited.  Who does not work out.  And certainly who is not a rower. These dresses are great for the following:  very small children; Barbie dolls; the stick figures on the back of your mini van.  Real women:  avoid the cap sleeved dress at all costs.

This public service announcement comes to you after a cap sleeve dress tried to kill me.  Ok, you’re right, that’s too severe.  The dress tried to cut off my circulation.  Don’t get me wrong, at one time, this stretchy dress was once one of my “Go To” outfits.  Gentlemen:  for your edification, a Go To outfit is defined as a reliable outfit you can just grab off the hanger for just about any occasion, requiring no ironing or other time-consuming artifice.
It is quite disturbing when a “Go To Dress” turns on you -- but this is exactly what happened to me.  Clearly, the Dress was mad at me because I had been rowing.  A lot.  For years.  I row on the water every chance I can.  I row “off the water’” on ergometers -- at the Boathouse, at the gym, or on my home erg almost daily.  Maybe I should have invited the Dress to come out rowing with me.  Maybe The Dress got lonely or jealous just sitting in the closet all my herself.  In any event, that’s no reason to turn to violence.
Recently, I grabbed my Go To Dress, threw it on and headed to my event.  I got in the car and started driving.  I quickly realized I would not make it to my destination in this dress.  The now tourniquet like sleeves were cutting off my circulation.  Really. The sleeves were cutting into my arms and I was started to get a bit lightheaded.  At first, I felt shock and disbelief, as in, how could my Go To Dress do this to me.  Then I accepted that the Dress was out to get me. My Dress was my Adversary.  And it was winning.  I knew I would never make it to my destination so I went to the nearest store that sold women’s clothing -- Talbot’s -- and quickly bought something that fit.
Oh the sweet relief of wearing a dress that fit right and was comfortable!  Goodbye, evil Cap Sleeve Dress.  I know I will never wear a cap sleeve dress again.  So let’s tally our results.  The good news is that, thanks to all this rowing, I am very physically fit, something I am happy to report as a 50 year old.  The bad news is that I have had to say good bye to all my cap sleeve dresses.  
On balance, I will take it.
Have a great day, everyone and, as always, remember to Count Your Blessings! <3  Mrs. Lo (For more of the Mrs. Lo Blog visit www.lobiondopage.blogspot.com)