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Friday, August 28, 2015

GROWING UP LoBIONDO: Summer 2015 – Special Guest Blogger Orion

Hello, Humans!  It’s me, Orion LoBiondo, the only 4-legged member of the LoBiondo Family.  Is it a little kooky around your house lately?  It’s really kooky over here.  My family apparently just realized it’s the last weekend before school starts and they’re trying to get Organ-Eyes-Id, whatever that means.  I’m just happy to be back in a routine again, this Summer was all over the place!

It started out pretty great, we had a lot of dinners out on our big deck and Dad barbecued a lot.  Momma loves to eat out on the back deck and she has a lot of furniture out there but she kind of drives us all crazy with that.   She makes us take the cushions and pillows in every night.  And she makes us bring all the furniture (and there’s a LOT) inside if it’s going to rain.  But we love to hang out, have barbecued chicken (I may just get fed a few pieces under the table) and listen to Dad play the guitar.  We had a lot of family parties out there and Momma even had some fundraisers back there.
But then I we got out of our routine when my so called “Family” -- and I use the term loosely here -- went to California and Hawaii -- and they left me in New York!  I mean, I had a great time with my grandma and grandpa and their dog, Wes.  But really, did Momma and Dad ever stop to think that maybe I might want to go to Hawaii, and go to a luau, do some surfing??!!  Apparently not.  That’s ok, I am a dog so I am programmed to forget all about it and just be happy to see my humans when they get home (not to be confused with cats, they can hold a grudge for years!).
We got back into a great routine -- my brother Michael was going to Summer Rowing Camp at the Newburgh Rowing Club and my older brother Christian was a camp counselor there.  I would have preferred that they stay home and pet me all day but I finally got used to the routine -- and then BAM, another vacation!  My family went off to Kennebunkport, Maine, like every year, and then Cape Cod.  Normally, I would express my dissatisfaction my pooping somewhere prominently.  But I was at grandma and grandpa’s house, I do have respect for my elders.  Then my Humans got home and I forgot all about being mad and licked them all over their faces.
Now they are running around getting the house ready for school to start.  This I never understood, why does the house have to get ready?  It’s a house, a place for us to snuggle and sleep.  A place to store all my tennis balls (who wants to play catch??!!) and my giant oversized dog bed.  That’s OK, I have to get in training for my big Job.  I have many jobs, one of the main ones is to guard the boys’ backpacks on the way to school.  Of course, Christian takes a train to his high school in NJ.  But Momma still drives Michael to school and if it were not for me standing watch and GUARDING that backpack who knows what might happen.  Sometimes, I’m not sure my humans fully appreciate how much I protect them from:  evil squirrels, the voracious groundhog under our house, even the mailman can’t be trusted and must be barked at constantly (not Bob, he gave me treats, but Bob seems to have another route now.  This makes me even more annoyed at the new postal carrier.  First, he is not Bob; and second, he refuses to give me any treats.  And he wonders why we all bark at him).  
My family is all “boo-hoo-hoo the summer’s over”, but I’m all “YAY bring on the fall!”  Fall is my favorite time of year, along with Winter, Summer and Spring.  I love when the leaves change and then fall off the trees because Dad makes big leaf piles for me to jump in!  And the rest of the family might like lying in the sand like lizards but let’s face it, I’m covered in hair and I get hot.  Fall is nice and cool, plus it means we go back to school.
I am pretty excited to be going back to school.  I’m especially excited to be in middle school, and wear a tie, and to get to perform in the play … wait, what’s that?  You’ve got to be kidding me, again?!  So the boys are going back to school but I’m staying home again this year?  
You’re right, Momma, someone has to guard the house.  Those evil squirrels are not going to guard themselves.  Hey, there goes one of those beady eyed little squirrel-rats now!  Sorry, gotta run, I have to go bark my head off!
Oh, and Happy National Dog Day!
Signed - Orion LoBiondo
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