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Saturday, January 18, 2014

THAT TIME THAT MRS. LO BLEW THE DOOR OFF THE OVEN - LITERALLY.


As my readers know, Mrs. Lo loves to cook.  Actually, I love to feed people delicious, homemade food.  Note I did not say "feed my family," because I don't just feed my family of four.  That would be too easy.  There are always other kids over at LoBiondoFork during the week, having dinner before crew, football, or basketball practice.  And of course, Sunday Dinner has become a virtual TailGate Party, with friends and family en masse.  Except that it's indoors and, instead of sandwiches, we have Lasagna or Chicken Parm or some other dish I have spent all week making.

Mrs. Lo likes to do everything in monumental proportions.  We didn't just start a little rowing program to teach a few kids who were not traditional rowers, we have a well-funded, 50-rower strong America Rows Newburgh program, which is now a national program, one of 36 nationwide Affiliates of USRowing.  I don't just have a closet full of shoes, I have two Imelda Marcos style walk-in closets of Louboutins, Manolos and Miu Mius (not that I ever get to wear them anymore).  If I find out a witness has lied to me, I don't want to just expose a prior inconsistent statement, I want the witness to cry tears of shame, and apologize for violating the Social Covenant, while I have them on the stand.

So it's not surprising that I don't just want my family to eat food, I want them to have delicious, nutritious, homecooked meals every night.  Even though I work full time.  And devote almost all of my spare time to the Newburgh Rowing Club.  And some other sports and charities.  This requires planning at a level that makes a Federal RICO trial look like a pre-school project.  I literally plan my meals out 6 months ahead.  I buy in bulk at at a shameless level and shop at Sams Club with two carts.  The people who work the registers think I own a deli.  All of this "product" is stored in a walk in pantry, two refrigerators, and a deep freezer.  I cook 6 lasagnas at a time, my family eats two and I freeze 4.  I also cook 4 lbs of chili at a time, always having 2 crockpots going.  We will go through 2 lbs in one day  and freeze the rest.

As all parents who cook know, you cannot expect to get home at 4 or 5 pm and cook dinner.  That’s impossible.  All you have time to do, if you intend to get your kids to football or crew or basketball practice on time, is heat up something you cooked ahead.  And so I always have trays of food in the freezer, meaning I spend Saturday nights and most of my free time shopping at Sams Club and cooking.  I couldn’t be happier.  My family is around me, and I have a little TV in the kitchen where I watch HGTV (will they love it or list it??)

Thus, it was probably not a big surprise when I blew the doors off my beloved  KitchenAid oven.  Well, the door didn’t actually come off, thank God.  The crack inside the oven started as a hair line.  With each batch of lasagna, it grew and grew.  Then after making 12 lbs of chicken parm, I opened up the oven door and the glass had cracked and shattered.  I called my husband over and he confirmed it.  “Yup.  You finally blew the door off,” he said.

            I called Michael’s Appliances and explained that I didn’t care what it cost I needed the glass replaced right away.  “Wow,” said the serviceman on the phone,” you must really cook a lot.”  Hey, when your appliance repairman is impressed with your level of cooking, it’s a high compliment.

            But nothing beats the actual service call.  My husband met the man at the house.  Christian had let him in.  When Anthony got home, the repairman was on the phone asking someone how to remove the oven door.  Then he turned to Anthony, perplexed, “Do you have any idea how this door comes off?”  Yes, I do, answered my husband, my wife likes her oven clean and I have to take it off fairly regularly.  He went over and pulled the door off.  Then the repairman reportedly set the oven door on top of my wooden salad bowl.  At that point, both my sons and my husband came running over in near panic mode, “Oh no, not Mom’s salad bowl, you do not want to put the door on top of that, she will have a fit!”  I wasn’t there but this was all reported to me by my family.  Apparently, the serviceman thinks I’m some type of an Oven Ogre.  In any event, the newly serviced oven door is back on and back in service. 

            And just in time, I am making baked ziti and Sausage and Peppers for Game Day on Sunday FunDay.  Hashtag this one:  I Used to Buy Louboutins but now I spend all my money on food and appliances.  Betty Crocker would be proud.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

            Have a great day everyone and, as always, Remember to Count Your Blessings! <3 Mrs. Lo