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Friday, December 12, 2014

“THE CHRISTMAS DOG” - By SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER Orion

Hey, party people, it’s Me again, Orion, the only 4-legged member of the LoBiondo Family!  I am so psyched about Christmas, who’s with me??!!  Well, I’m half lab so I’m pretty much in a constant state of excitement but that’s because Life is a big bowl of tennis balls just waiting to get thrown!  So we have a lot of great traditions here at LoBiondoFork, most of which I am pretty much an integral part of.

            First, it becomes extra important that I clear the perimeter of our home on a DAILY basis.  I have made peace with Bob, the Mailman.  But what it up with these Brown trucks coming to the house every other day??!!  I don’t know these people in brown uniforms carrying packages.   They don’t give me treats like Bob does.  I’m pretty sure they are in cahoots with my mortal enemies, the squirrels.  So yeah, of course I am going to bark my head off at these package carriers, they need to know who’s in charge on this Street (Me, I am in charge not those rodents stuffing acorns in their cheeks)!
            Another important tradition is helping my family cut down the perfect Christmas tree, which will be happening tomorrow.  We go out to a special Christmas tree farm and Dad lets me off the leash so I can pick the perfect tree.  Of course, the place is crawling with Enemy Squirrels so it’s a bit hard to focus.  But once I chase off all the squirrels, we get to sawing.  OK, I don’t actually use the saw, I don’t have opposable thumbs – but my Dad and Brother do.   I stand there and give them REALLY supportive looks and bark for encouragement.  Then I will pee on a nearby tree to show manly solidarity.  It really helps them, there is no way this whole tree thing could go down without me.
            Another important tradition is standing in the middle of the kitchen while my mom is making the turkey.  It’s important that I stand right in the middle so she doesn’t forget about me.  And when she’s getting that delicious turkey out, that smells sooooo good, I never take my eyes off of it.  It takes hours of patience but finally I will get rewarded with a nice turkey bone.  Sure, it would be great to chew on it but that would just be wrong,  I immediately take that sucker outside and bury it in the garden.  So I can dig it up the next week and bring it inside all nice and fresh from the dirt.  Mom loves it when I bring the dirty turkey bone in, the way she shouts my name is like music to my ears, “Orion please tell me you didn’t drag that filthy bone across my Oriental rug, nooooooooo!”
            Mostly, I love to curl up on my giant dog bed while my Dad plays Christmas carols on the piano and my mom and Little Bro Michael sing along.  Little Bro has a beautiful singing voice, he was the STAR of his Christmas pageant!  Sure, Mom says he was in the chorus and the En-Som-Bull, whatever that means, but I’m sure he was large and in charge.  My Big Bro, Christian, is too cool to sing along anymore, but he’s not too cool to snuggle up with me in the dog bed (Shhhhh don’t tell anyone!)
            Sure, Mom gets a little cuckoo at Christmas time with all of her work and volunteer work and holiday stuff.  But every night we snuggle up together on the couch and watch Christmas stuff.  (College Football is considered Christmas stuff, right?)  Snuggling with my family is always the best.  But Christmas snuggling, that’s just the Super Best!
            Happy Holidays, Everyone!  And Mom says to remember to Count Your Blessings!  Signing off, Orion LoBiondo
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