WHO’S GOING TO RUN THE WORLD IF YOU WATER DOWN ALL THE ALPHAS? –
There is something known as the “Backlash Against Boys,” which I have
been reading about since my oldest (now 13) was born. I started with the book entitled, “Raising
Cain;” my favorite is “The Trouble with Boys;” and the most recent is “The War Against
Boys.” The theory in sum: the “Feminist Revolution” mostly had an
impact on education. Back in the day,
the curriculum and the world were heavily stacked so that boys would succeed. No one ever called on a girl if she had her
hand raised along with the boys. Then,
through the “Feminist Movement”, the tables slowly began to turn. Most teachers are now female, which has meant
less male role models in the classroom for boys. The literary curriculum is said to be dominated
by girl-oriented books. According to
these books, (this was definitely not my experience at BDMS) teachers tend to
call on girls more than boys in class; boys who naturally have more energy and can’t
sit still on a mat endlessly are labeled early on as inattentive or worse, as having
ADHD as early as pre-school.
As the mother of
two boys at BDMS, this was not my experience at all, but how could these books
be so wrong? I guess you could say,
having my boys at BDMS, we were sheltered from “the storm.” This has both its advantages and its
disadvantages.
Thus, it was
important to me that my boys get out into the “real world” by participating in
something like the Newburgh Rowing Club, where the 100+ registered rowers are
from all walks of life, from public schools in Newburgh, and other public
school districts, to our Catholic schools and private schools. And lo and behold, my boys came away with an
even better experience about participating in a sport. Rowing and having a stake in the Boathouse
has taught them to clean up after themselves and be responsible for their own
things, like doing their laundry. They
carry tools around, like a 3/16 wrench.
Having to Save the NFA Crew Team and going to countless coin drop-style
fundraisers 2 years ago taught Christian at an early age that nothing good
comes easy, to hold the door open for everyone, to look adults in the eye,
shake their hands and say “Thank you.”
Thus, until
recently, I did not experience this whole “Backlash Against Boys” and started
to think it was an urban myth -- until Christian started playing youth football. Initially, there were people who tried to
convince him, as well as Anthony and myself, not to let him play football. Some of the comments I got from people before
I began to identify myself as a “football mom” were: “Those kids are animals, you’re going to let
your son turn into an animal too?” and “I hate football, just a bunch of
Neandertals smashing into each other, how could you let your son do that?” and “Football is such a sexist sport.” And there it was. For a dozen years, we were sheltered from the
Backlash Against Boys, and then we entered its very Vortex. Just as people feel completely free to bash
Catholics, there is a segment of the population that feels completely free to
bash youth football and the boys who become football players. (I’m not talking about the NFL or even
college ball in this Blog, but youth football players -- kids).
Recently, a
local agency that supports crime victims and other victims, and that I have
always supported, posted an image on Facebook of a football and part of a
football field, superimposed upon which was a statistic about the average age that
girls enter into prostitution. I wished
to point out that YOUTH football players,
of whom my son is one, had nothing to do with this disturbing statistic. I posted
a comment that basically said, “Love
your organization, but WTH does this have to do with football?” and signed off
as Mrs. Lo, Proud Football Mom.
The comments I got back were from the
agency and a female lawyer, telling me to check out how much human sex trafficking
occurs at major sporting events like football.
Slavery, human sex trafficking, kidnappings, are horrible. How would I know? In fact, I have done a lot more to quietly battle
for these victims in my career than just put up a facebook post. I have been part of the pro bono panel of
lawyers for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in
Arlington, VA for almost 2 decades. I
have donated well over $100,000.00 in free legal fees to represent victims of
international kidnappings, as well as domestic violence victims, and am one of
the few attorneys in the area on the U.S. State Department’s list of attorneys
capable of handling International Hague Convention cases, and have been honored
in Washington, DC for my work. But I let
it go and, as always, decided to Blog about it.
Our youth
football players are good boys and they don’t deserve to be associated with
this disturbing statistic. It basically
is giving the message that football and prostitution go together. Youth Football is not the Enemy, people. Our players are such good boys, they are the
ones who hold doors, say, “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir”, are scholar-athletes,
protect their moms and sisters, and work their tails off.
So, is there a backlash against
boys? Yes, there certainly is in some
corners of the country. But the bigger
question is: why? Here is why: Society is systematically trying to dismantle
the concept of the Alpha (the born leader).
The education system on a whole does not reward anyone for being a
leader, but rather fitting in to a one size fits all, Common Core taking
student (not talking about BDMS). Not
all Alphas are boys and most boys are not Alphas. I’m an Alpha, my husband is an Alpha, my
grandmother was an Alpha, my oldest son is an Alpha. Coach Kennedy is an Alpha. My youngest son is a happy, unique,
brilliant, charming individual. Not an
Alpha, though, and that’s OK. The World has tried to squish the Alpha out of
me for decades and it hasn’t worked. I
won’t let anyone squish the Alpha out of my son and if your child has those
qualities, please continue to cherish and encourage them. There
is a place in the world for all our children’s different rainbow personalities. My prayer is for this country to start
accepting kids in all their natural forms, whether it’s Hippie Chick or Alpha
male or female or Quiet Scholar.
Football is
a great youth sport, it has changed and shaped my son into a better person in
every way. One of the last places in America where Boys are rewarded for being
an Alpha male is the football field. Some of my proudest moments were when Christian
did not catch the ball, but when he tried anyway, in his effort to help the
team he loved so much. Toward the end of
the season, he was playing with fractured ribs, although he had been diagnosed
with bruised ribs, and it was getting harder and harder for him to turn and run
his route with his usual speed. Sometimes
he could still catch the ball, sometimes he just couldn’t get there but he was
willing to try, over and over again, for the betterment of his team. And on the football field, that quality in
him, and so many others, which allows them to force themselves through the pain
to take a chance, in order to make something good happen for their team, that
quality is rewarded on the football field; but in few other locations
throughout America. Youth Football’s not
the enemy, people, extreme views are.
So here’s an idea. Since some Alpha males and females are going
to be needed to run our towns and
villages, our families, and our nation in the future: how about we adults cut the (CENSORED) with
this generation, check our extreme views at the door, and just let kids be
kids, whoever they may naturally be.
And that’s
how Mrs. Lo sees it (for all you Glee fans out there). Have a great day, everyone, and as always, remember
to Count Your Blessings! <3 Mrs. Lo(Photo of my son, Christian, No. 56, on the field with Coach Tompkins)
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