I don’t know when my
kids became low-maintenance. Children
start out, by nature, high maintenance.
Parents, can you even remember that
first night you took your precious newborn home from the hospital? Let’s face it, no matter how many times you
read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” we did NOT expect what
followed. We had gone through life so
well rested, sleeping 6 – 8 hours per night.
And just like that, BAM, you are a
deliriously-happy-sleep-deprived-kinda-punchy new parent. Of course, the joy of that sweet new baby is
all worth it.
Then there
was the dilemma of how to take a shower.
Think about it, parents of teenagers, there was a time when we had to
put toys in the bathroom with our baby so we could take a shower.
Let’s not
forget how we needed a diaper bag, car seat, 8 changes of clothing, blankets, toys,
wipes, individual packs of food (preferably organic so those Cold Spring Moms
didn’t roll their eyes at us again), DVD player, and everything but the kitchen
sink, just to go to the park for 2 hours.
Because Lord knows, your kid couldn’t just play in the backyard, you had
to meet all those moms in the park to socialize your child.
Then the
second child was born, and for some people a third, fourth, or more. And we learned to tamp that whole scene down
a little bit for each new addition.
Until, as the parent of four kids once said to me, of their youngest, “Alex
is basically raising himself at this point.”
That was all
so long ago. Christian, my oldest, is now
finishing up 8th grade and Michael, my youngest, is finishing up 4th
grade. They have had two totally
different parenting experiences. For one
thing, when Christian was in 3rd, 4th and 5th grade, I was
sitting down monitoring and reviewing his homework like white on rice. I never look at his homework now. At most, he will ask us to help him study for
midterms and finals but he does his homework, studies for tests, and budgets
his time between academics and sports.
His current sport is AAU basketball, and as of the time this is
published, he will be up in Saratoga with Mr. Lo for a basketball tournament. And Michael and I will have lots of quality
time together: except that I will be
spending all weekend working on the Corsairs Cup, a huge endeavor that our Committee works on
for a full year, yes, a year. Michael’s
quality time will involve tagging auction items, organizing food for 100, and putting together a glossy Dinner Journal.
I don’t want
to say I never helped Michael with his homework but truth be told, I almost
never help him. If he asks for help, of
course, we are there. Mostly, he needs
me to type things for him, or assist with long-term projects. But, the 3-4 hours per night I used to spend
with Christian during this grade (same material, same teacher) are gone. Common Core?
I have no clue what it is. My
kids manage to do their homework and do it well without me messing it up for
them.
There is no
way I could put the time into my charities and not-for-profits, and drive them
to their sports activities if I had to babysit my kids as they do their
homework. They needed to learn to budget
their time themselves and work independently.
We are all much happier this way.
I can’t really say I miss the hours I used to spend helping Christian
with his 4th grade homework
because it was not quality time. It was
a grind. And I am now freed up to do
things like write press releases, manage the Newburgh Rowing Club behind the
scenes and plan fundraisers, including my newest endeavor, the “Touchdown Club,”
or the Don Bosco Prep Football Booster Club.
In an ideal
rendering of this family yarn, I would have re-invested my time into my
children by reading Shakespeare with them, teaching them a foreign language, or
taking up Impressionist painting with them.
Alas, that’s not that case, I didn’t use the “extra hours” in my day to
enrich my kids. Nor did I make the house
any cleaner, get the laundry done any quicker, or decorate the house or
garden. I am pursuing things I love, and
am therefore a Happier Mommy. I am free
now to use my time for recreational rowing, cooking, community service, writing and photography, and
fundraising. And I am indulging in the
ultimate luxury: reading. Yes, I read books -- not law books or kids’
textbooks -- real books that I actually enjoy.
So are my kids practically raising
themselves? Well, just the other day,
Michael handed me a list he had written in pencil.
“What’s
this?” I said.
“That’s your
To Do list,” said Michael. “Tomorrow,
you need to hand in my Race For Education money, fill out my Class pictures
form and don’t forget tomorrow is Staff payroll.”
Jiminy
Christmas, why don’t I just make my 10-year-old my office manager? Feeling like I wasn’t spending enough quality
time with my youngest, I said, “Michael, is there anything you’d like to do
with Mommy, maybe after school tomorrow?”
“Well,” said
Michael, “we have rowing tomorrow,” – side note – Michael and I both go to
recreational rowing Tuesdays and Thursdays at the Newburgh Rowing Club – “and if
I were you, I would work on squaring up my blade a little better.”
Yup, he’s
practically raising himself. But there
are definitely worse things in life. Now
if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to settle into my comfy chair with my
newest library book. You can hashtag
this one #LifeIsGood.
Have a great
day, everyone and, as always, Remember to Count Your Blessings! <3 Mrs. Lo (The Boys in 2004)
