Do What you Love, and You Will Never Work a Day in Your Life

DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU WILL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE, is what my Grandmother always said. Finally, Mrs. Lo is taking her own grandmother's advice. My first job out of law school was as a Mediator in Small Claims 

Court in the Bronx, 24 years ago. I have always done mediation but now I have made it the primary focus of my practice. It has been a rip-roaring success and I couldn't be happier. Basically, I sit in the conference room with two parties seeking to resolve their matter peacefully, without spending a lot of money and going through the unhappiness of Family Court and Supreme Court. The problem with divorce mediation is that non-lawyers tend to have a so-so success rate because well, they're not lawyers. More than a few divorce lawyers turn away from it because, well, you make a lot less money than you do going to court. However, what does that say? That the proces is much more economical. It's not for everybody, but it's for a lot more people than you would think. I'm in a position in life where I can do what I love, not what makes the most money, and that's a great place to be. My husband and I are even going to Buffalo the weekend of September 7 for the NYS Divorce Mediators Council Conference and I'm actually looking forward to it. I will still handle the uncontested and the contested divorce and family law cases but handling a few is preferable to doing that full-time. So now I jump out of bed Monday mornings, and Fridays are still fabulous but I'm actually not counting down to them anymore, because my workweek is pretty fabulous too. Remember to count your blessings, everyone, I know how lucky I am to be able to do what I love and I hope and pray the same for all of my readers  Mrs. Lo

Mrs. Lo's First Football Injury

MRS. LO's FIRST FOOTBALL INJURY - For two years, Big Coach has been saying, "I broke every finger in both hands, so many times, if you want your kid to be a surgeon, you better forget about football." Football is not a Sport for Life, he always said, but Rowing is. As is Swimming. That is true. What is not true: Mrs. Lo did not actually get injured. Christian may have broken a finger, he may not, he may have just jammed it and it's swollen. He's getting checked out right now. But remember, this is MRS. LO'S Saturday Morning Blog, so this is about my experience with a possible injury to a child who has never been injured despite playing sport for 10 years. This is about my initiation into this new sport he has chosen. I should add, this is club football, and he hasn't even had a scrimmage yet, just a lot of practices. We called Bourne last night, who is studying to be an Athletic Trainer, and he said to ice and buddy tape it. Then I told him what Big Coach said about breaking all his fingers. "Yeah, that happens, Mrs. Lo, I broke every finger in my hand too." Then I remembered what his Bourne's Dad said, about his son having played through the States game with a dislocated thumb. I worked out with my personal trainer, David Diggle, at Planet Fitness this morning. Diggle was a Defensive End for VC, then UConn. Can you believe the coincidence, I asked him! Both Big Coach and Bourne broke all of their fingers! Diggle just looked at me. "Yeah, Mrs. Lo, I broke all my fingers, most of my toes and ripped the ligaments in this finger, it still doesn't bend all the way. It's kind of part of the game." Part of the game? Maybe an unfortunate, unintended consequence to playing the game but you don't mean it's an integral part of the game. "Oh yeah, I do mean that," said Diggle. I also had a feeling, they were all holding back on telling me everything. Like when you hear someone's trying to start a family and the last thing you want to do is tell them what childbirth is REALLY like, because there's an unwritten "code" about that kind of thing. Bourne and Diggle both said, broken, not broken, you suit up, and whether you practice or not depends on the situation. "It's not like he's getting ready for States," they both said. But you don't understand my son. Every crew meet, he's getting ready for States. Every crew practice, he wants to win the races they set up. Every football practice, he wants to be the first up the Hill. I am on my way to take Michael to swim lessons, to tune up his butterfly so he can be ready for the Swim Team. A sport for Life, Big Coach would say. And I am waiting to hear about Christian's finger. Broken or not broken, he just wants to get back out there. Whether he sticks with this sport, goes back to crew, or takes up Handball, Anthony and I will be here to support him. I'm learning about this sport every day. And I'm willing to put my most precious resources, my boys, into the two most dangerous sports, football and Crew. Michael is now a full fledged member of the Newburgh Rowing Club, and Christian will be back for Spring Season. In a sense, it goes against the grain of what it means to be a mother, the desire to protect and cocoon your child. But as my dear friend, who is now a College Football Mom said, "Julie, let them train him up to play the right way. Otherwise, he will go out to the park and play without pads, with kids who know what they're doing, and that's how he will really get hurt." So, actually, football is a Sport for Life in the sense that there will always be that pickup game, that backyard touch football game, and that Thanksgiving Day game when he has kids of his own. God Bless all the Football Moms and Grandmoms, I have a new and enduring respect for you all! Have a great day everyone and remember to Count Your Blessings -- TWICE!  Mrs. Lo (No. 56 Bourne and Christian doing drills)

The Great Divide: Raising Daughters v. Raising Sons

THE GREAT DIVIDE: BEIBER FEVER AND FOOTBALL SEASON - this week Mrs. Lo's dear friend, who has all daughters, no sons, popped into LoBiondoFork with what was clearly exciting news. "Guess what??" she said, shaking a piece of paper at me. No clue. "You won something?" I asked. "Even better! The girls and I are going to be Buh-Leebers!!!" I stared at her blankly and immediately began to employ the skills I read about for people who suffer from face blindness. I began to try to "read" as much as I could from her tone of voice. Enthusiasm. Now, the trick was for me to muster some semblance of enthusiasm. "Oh my gosh, that's great! Just remind me again, what is a Buh-Leeber?" Now she looked at me blankly. "Julie, I got tickets online for me and the girls to go to see JUSTIN BEIEBER live in concert, we're going to have BEIBER FEVER." Stick a fork in my eye, is what I wanted to say. "That is sooooo great," is what I actually said. "I didn't realize he was still popular." I could hear the epic fail buzzer going off in her head. She looked at my computer screen, "What are you doing, crew stuff?" she asked. Actually, I told her, I am reading the football rules for Christian's football league, his season just started. Another blank stare. Oh wait, I said, I have to kick this up a notch. He did pretty good at football camp and might even play Tight End, I said. "Is that good?" said my friend. And there it was. The Great Divide. Never to be crossed, always to be walked around. She lived in Girl World and I lived in Boy World and that was the end of that. No amount of face blindness skills could change that fact. Of course, being the really good friends that we have been for over a decade, we talked and laughed about it, and moved on to talk about our shared common interests, interior decorating and Shopping (yes, "Shopping" with a capital S denotes clothes, shoes and makeup, whereas the lower case "s" denotes dreaded chores like groceries and cleaning supplies.) I don't envy my friend at all. I view her in heroic terms, I see her as taking one for the team. I really would rather stick a fork in my eye than go to a Justin Beiber concert, or almost anyplace with screaming teens. But wait, aren't they all screaming at a crew meet or a football game. Well, yes, but that's different. Listen, I said there's a lot of pressure on boys nowadays NOT to play football. No parent easily signs their kid up for a sport where getting hurt is part of the game, it's just a matter of how badly and how quickly he heals. But having grown up in Boy World, thanks to Uncle Michael, and lived in it now for 13 years, I understand one thing my dear friend does not: Football for boys is in their DNA. Those who have a burning desire to play cannot and will not be stopped. My kid is tall for his age but he is puny by Newburgh football standards. He is fast but there will always be faster kids. He will get hurt if he plays this sport. I do not like it, but I accept it. But as another of my dear friends, the ultimate football mom, whose son is going off to play football for a D-1 School on a full scholarship soon, said to me last night. "Julie, if a boy wants to play football, there's no stopping him. A dream is a dream. And you know, a kid can get hurt anywhere. You could stop him from playing and he could get hurt in the bathroom." Wise words. We could stop him, we paid for him, he needs our signatures and he needs us to drive him. But he would resent us and would resent his missed chance for the rest of his life. And that we couldn't live with. I tried to explain all of this to my dear friend with all daughters, as we were sitting in my home office having coffee. She really was horrified at the whole injury thing. She looked at me squarely and said, "So I guess the whole Justin Beiber concert thing isn't looking so bad after all now," and we both had a good laugh. Divide Conquered. Oh, and how will this affect the Newburgh Rowing Club? Christian will be back when the football season is over. And Little Michael fell in love with rowing during Newburgh Rowing Summer Camp. Hence, I just signed him up as the newest member of the Newburgh Rowing Club! Remember to not only count your blessings, but follow your dreams, and let your kids follow their dreams too, where possible. Have a great Saturday, everyone! Mrs. Lo (photo of No. 56 Nick Bourne, Man of Steel, giving Christian a few tips on the football field).

WHY IT IS MEDICALLY NECESSARY FOR MRS. LO TO BE IN A ROWBOAT

MRS. LO'S SATURDAY MORNING BLOG. "WHY IT IS MEDICALLY NECESSARY FOR MRS. LO TO SIT IN A ROWBOAT ALL DAY" - when I went on the Family Cruise 3 weeks ago, my first cruise, I adjusted incredibly well to being at sea. That should have been my first clue. I could literally do cartwheels down the hall on rocky seas when other passengers had trouble walking. However, upon disembarking, my knees buckled and I could not get used to the sensation of being on land. The world was moving like a cruise ship but I wasn't on a cruise ship. I saw my primary doctor and he gave me medicine for vertigo, which was helpful. Then I saw my ENT and he diagnosed me with "MDDS," or Mal de Disembarquement Syndrome. This rare and temporary condition occurs when your brain adjusts so well to the pitching and tilting of a cruise ship that the brain is unable to "re-set" to being on land. Hence, the incredibly uncomfortable feelings of vertigo all the time. "Great, Dr. Munzer, I'm so glad you diagnosed me, now how do we fix this?" I said, cheerfully. "Oh, there's no cure for it," he said equally cheerfully. (I'm sorry, is it the ringing in my ears, did he say no cure?). He explained that this would go away on its own, in time, and the first thing I should do is stop the vertigo medicine, which just masks the symptoms and does nothing to improve the condition. I asked him how I was supposed to get through the day. "Just power through," he said. Crew parents will recognize this to be a term used in crew, maybe in other sports, to mean just suck up the pain and keep going. "Is there anything at all that makes you feel better?" he asked me. Well, whenever I go in the motorboat with Big Coach or sit in any of the crew shells or kayaks, yes, I feel great. "Then do that," he said. So, yesterday, with the world pitching and rolling in my office, I left, went down to summer camp and went in the motor boat with Big Coach. Normally, that's a harrowing ride but for me it was heavenly. And I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening watching the kids at practice, while lying in a rowboat. Just what the doctor ordered. Of course, I had to explain to Big Coach what I wanted to do. "You want to sit in the motorboat?" he asked, "and you don't want it to go anywhere?" Exactly, I said. "Are you tricking me into something?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow

. "No, coach, it's doctor's orders." He was confused by my request, but way too busy to ask any further and basically said help yourself, Mrs. Lo, as long as I don't have to drive you anywhere during practice. I promise to be especially thankful for my balance when it comes back to me. It's funny the things we take for granted until their gone. Remember to count your blessings, everyone, and have a great day! Mrs. Lo

How Mrs. Lo Went on a Cruise and Lost Weight

Mrs. Lo had never been on a cruise before.  Everyone said get ready to gain weight, so I got ready.   I brought stretchy clothes and extra roomy T-shirts.  In fact, I lost 8 pounds in 5 days.  Now, I usually don't weigh myself.  But it so happened that I went to the doctor right before my cruise and right after.  The best advice I have for other cruisers who want to lose weight or at least stay the same weight:  just do what your kids do, assuming you have very active children.  Christian, my 13 yo, wanted to go to the gym every day, but he needed to have a parent with him, so I ended up working out at the gym every day.  Also, I was with the Little Kids a lot and they don't walk so much as do that combo walk-run that kids do when they're excited all the time.  Let's play mini-golf, run!  Let's go to the arcade on the 12th floor, run!  I also swam and snorkeled with the kids, and took every dance class that was offered:  ballroom, salsa, and cha cha.  Both of my kids, Christian in particular, had no patience for the overcrowded elevators.  So we took the stairs, 10 floors up and 10 floors down, over and over.  At first, I objected because I was wearing heels.  "You told me when you lived in New York, you walked all over Manhattan in 4-inch heels," quipped my 13 yo.  Why, oh why, does my son remember everything I say, it's like walking around with a stenographer.  I should note that I ate just what I ate at home, nothing more, nothing less.    Thus, now that I am home, I think we know what all this means:  pass the pasta, Anthony, Momma needs to get back in shape!  Remember to count your blessings and have a great week, everyone <3 Mrs. Lo

The LoBiondo Family Cruise of a Lifetime: complete with wailing infant in the next room

The entire LoBiondo Family, who make up "LoBiondoFork", just returned from the cruise of a lifetime, Nana and Pop pop, Anthony's parents, took all 11 of us on a cruise to Bermuda to celebrate their 50th Anniversary.  It was their treat, although Anthony and I decided to upgrade to a bigger room with a balcony as our own treat.  It was wonderful to have all the family and cousins together and the kids couldn't have been happier.  The Little Kids swam, snorkeled, played miniature golf, hit the arcade and generally enjoyed life to the fullest as only two little kids can.  The 3 teenagers, including Christian, enjoyed the sports, from the gym to the basketball, dodgeball, and table tennis.  Christian won a rock climbing contest, beating out college-aged kids and apparently setting a ship record.  Mrs. Lo was having a pretty good time too, until the first time I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a wailing baby.  I was really confused.  We were surrounded by our own family, the youngest of which is Little Michael, age 9.  And our neighbors next door were way too old to have babies.  Then John, our stateroom attendant, explained to me what was going on.  "That's not their baby, Miss, that's their grandbabies (did he use the plural?).  Your neighbors, they have their kids on board and their kids have babies.  The kids like to go to all the activities.  When I was coming in this morning at 4 am, I see the kids, they're at the Disco Dance Party."  The first thing I did was count my blessings, because the "grandparents" looked to be about my age.  Better them than me, is the first thing I thought.  So our room is next door to the Grandparent Dropoff, last stop before the young parents hit the party scene.  No wonder those poor babies are crying.  So I did what any good lawyer would do, I made myself look discheveld, which wasn't hard, and called for the manager.  I explained that I couldn't go down to see him, they would have to send him up to see me, because I hadn't slept in 3 nights due to the Grandparents Dropoff situation.  Gerard, the manager, couldn't have been nicer.  "No problem, Miss," he said, "I can get you something to help you sleep all night."  You mean, special pillows, I said.  "No, Miss, something from the ship doctor."  Did he just offer me drugs?  I managed to stay drug-free all these years, I don't want to end up in Betty Ford because of my cruise.  Actually, Gerard, I was hoping for another room, where there is no baby next door.  "Oh, sorry, Miss the ship is booked full up."  Well, maybe the Captain can sleep in the Library and I can have his room, I joked.  "Hmmm, a room just for sleeping, let me see what I can do."  Thankfully, Gerard came through, and we ended with a second room, where I could go just to sleep at night.  It was on the same deck where the crew sleeps.  It wasn't the Captain's room, but after 3 sleepless nights at sea, I didn't care, I was just happy to get a good night's rest.  And it was one more room for the Little Kids to play in and the teenagers to shower in, the ship was starting to look like LoBiondoFork.  I promised several readers that I would explain what "LoBiondoFork" is.  For those of you under 40, there used to be a show in the 80's called "Dallas."  The extended Ewing family of Texas all lived together in a sprawling mansion-ranch they called "Southfork."  The LoBiondo Family all lives within walking distance of each other in Newburgh, and we joke that our houses put together are "LoBiondoFork."  All in all, it truly was the cruise and vacation of a lifetime, with beautiful memories and of course, lots of pictures.  Remember to count your blessings, everyone, and have a great day! <3 Mrs. Lo

When is Mom Too Old for a Bikini?

WHEN IS MOM YOU "TOO OLD" TO WEAR A BIKINI - short answer: when the time comes, my kids, who are merciless with their honesty, will be the first to let me know. Today, three generations of the LoBiondo Family will embark on a cruise to Bermuda to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of Nana and Pop pop, Anthony's parents. We feel very blessed to have our whole family together and this whole trip was my in-laws' treat. While packing, I had the Style Channel on. Some British woman appeared on screen and pronounced that at 47, one is officially too old for a bikini. (I will be 48 later this month). Uh-oh, I said. I looked at my swimsuit collection. All two-pieces. Except for the Speedo suits I use to swim laps at the Y, and they're not really cruise worthy. It never occurred to me that it might be time to go out and get "mommy suits" with skirts. In fact, although my mom had a killer figure back in the day, she always wore a mommy suit with a skirt. And a bathing cap with little flowers on it, if she was going to swim. I didn't bother to ask my husband his opinion, he's so supportive, that he's almost blinded by love. Like when I came home from the hospital after giving birth to Christian. My husband truly thought I looked great, and had me believing I had lost almost all the baby weight. Then my brother stopped by the house. He gave me a pat on the belly and said, "Hey, Sis, I didn't know you were having twins ... looks like they left one in there!" It's funny now, but it was a tear fest back then. And both my sons have taken on the mantel of my little brother when it comes to honesty. I have cowboy boots I've never worn out of the house. I almost did, one time. My boys stopped me at the door. "Oh no, mom, please, don't wear those out of the house. Ever. We thought that was for one of your costume parties." So I asked my kids, do you think it's time to for your mom to start wearing mommy suits? "What's a mommy suit?" You know, the one piece, with the skirt on it. "Like grandma wears?" Exactly. "No, mom, how could you embarass us like that, please don't get a mommy suit," said Christian, my 13 yo, and I might have seen an eye roll too. "If you don't want people to see you," offered Little Michael, my 9 yo helpfully, "you could just stay in the room all day." Thanks, kids, I guess. I do appreciate the brutal honesty, I could always count on my brother for that, and now I can count on my sons. I guess I won't

make any drastic wardrobe changes for now. Remember to count your blessings, everyone! We are feeling very, very blessed at this moment, as we embark on this trip. Thank you for reading Mrs. Lo's Saturday Morning Blog, have a great day, everyone!  Mrs. Lo