Who Are We? It's a Newburgh Crew Team Thing

From June 1, 2013, right before Sectionals.  The NFA Girls and NFA Boys Crew teams each took Second Place overall.

"WHO ARE WE?" - today is going to be a great day, a special day, a tough day. Today is Sectionals for the sport of crew in the HVRL. It's the last day of crew season 2013 for NFA. I will never forget the day the team was eliminated. It was right after we had won a Regatta. The girls who were crying. The girls who knew they needed "varsity" on their applications to row in college, who knew they would have to move school districts to a public high school that had crew, hugging their friends. The boys who refused to cry and looked like they wanted to punch something but you knew were crying on the inside. 72 kids on a varsity team that had been eliminated rowed their entire season, knowing their team officially would not be back the next year, and finished as champions. Not one athlete left for another varsity spring sport. Not one. I remember when the team was reinstated on the condition that we seek funding from the community. I remember sitting at the Boathouse with a core group of crew parents, explaining that it was like this: we could all work very hard to raise the money and you might get families who don't lift a finger but they're as much a part of the team as your kids. My kids go to private school so I know how that kind of thing works. You need to understand that before taking on this massive undertaking to form a 501(c)(3), raise $60,000.00 in the off season, and make sure we are always in the news. We went around the table with about 10 parents, one after another they thought and said, "I'm in," I'm in," and so on. Fundraiser after fundraiser, Big Coach believes there have been 55 in total. But we did it, with the help of so many others, with the help of this community that the media gets down on, Newburgh, came out and helped us. We had our 2013 season. It was wonderful. By one point, we won Counties and remained Orange-Ulster County Champions. Today is Sectionals in Poughkeepsie. I can't believe it, the season we worked so hard for is over. I thought it was hard last year, saying hasta luego to Carlos and Allan and Bourne and the rest. Now, we will say hasta luego to Frankie, Connor, Illenberger, and Kyle and the other seniors. There are always a few that break your heart when they leave, that are like your own family, when they leave, and those would be the ones. They're all going on to blindingly great futures so it's happy but I will not lie to you, my loyal readers, I am sad. The people who were there for Crew Season 2012 and 2013, always remember: You are special. Nobody, but nobody except for you guys could have done what we did. I am so proud of you and I will always tell your story and honor what we did, our families, together, with the coaches. Remember what Big Coach always said: nothing good in life ever comes easy. When Big Coach does our special cheer remember, not only is there no other place we'd rather be, there's no one else we would rather have done this with than you guys. You are not just special, you are extraordinary, I will carry each of you in my heart forever, as will Big Coach. WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU RATHER BE?

The Angel, the Alpha, and the School Lunch

From June 4, 2013

THE ANGEL AND THE ALPHA - they say don't label your kids. However, there is a small asterisk, whereby it's OK if the labels are for purposes of your blog on Facebook. Yesterday, my cherub, Little Michael, came home and said Mommy, you forgot my lunch order again, I had mashed potatoes for lunch. And (NAME OF A CLASSMATE) gave me a chicken mcnugget. As you all know, Mrs. Lo's greatest motherly fault is that I ALWAYS forget to print out and hand in the kids monthly hot lunch order. Someone made Little Michael get off the lunch line. (For those wondering, I am about $75K into this school for tuition and Heaven only knows how much more in extra donations and billable hours but apparently nothing outranks getting that lunch order in on time). Fortunately, Michael has a secret strategy and our Angel Friend helps him out. This strategy got him a "red card" meaning he could eat some "sides." I'm sure he could have chosen fruit or salad but of course he chose the mashed potatoes. Meanwhile there is my 12 yo. By way of example, during Sectionals he bow-coxed his boat with no cox box. This means that instead of sitting facing the rowers, he was in the bow, facing away from them. No big deal if you have a "cox box" which basically is a microphone whereby they can all hear you. He had to turn completely around to yell at them, while holding the rudder with one hand; he couldn't see where they were going he had to judge by the distance from other boats. How was that, I asked him? "All in a day's work" he shrugged and replied. So back to the lunch order, I asked Christian: how come you never complain about mashed potatoes. How do you eat lunch every day? "Like a Boss," he replied. And he wasn't kidding. Lunch order completed and on its way. Have a great day everyone!  Mrs. Lo

MRS. LO'S TAKE ON "LOVING DAY"

From June 12, 2013, "Loving Day" - TIME FOR A MRS. LO STORY, FOR LOVING DAY - June 12 is "Loving Day," a tribute to Mildred and Richard Loving. This married couple was arrested in Viringia in 1958 for violating anti-miscegenation laws, which prohibited inter-racial marriage, specifically between non-whites and whites. Their case went up to the U.S. Supreme Court and on June 12, 1967, the Warren Court handed down its decision in "Loving v. Virginia," striking down anti-miscegenation laws as violative of the equal-protection clause, which is to say, unconstitutional. The couple then returned to Virginia, where they raised a family of three children and remained together until Richard died in a car accident in 1975. Mildred died in 2008. Each year, Loving Day is celebrated for the Lovings and other mixed race couples. Growing up in an inter-racial family in the 1970's was often no picnic for little Mrs. Lo and her brother. But it made me a stronger person, and planted in me an intolerance for intolerance. And so, from Mrs. Lo to everyone who teased or gave me a hard time, due to being "mixed race"  -- I truly thank you -- because I could never have stood up to authority all my life, could never have taken on the challenges I have, could never have been as good a lawyer as I am, and could never have done half the things I've done had it not been for you. I say this without a trace of bitterness, at my age I am at peace with all the storms I have battled through and am thankful for the soft place to land my husband and kids and I have created. And, watching Lolo and Lola (my parents) stick together over 49 years has taught me an indelible lesson in the meaning of true love. Race, gender, same-sex, opposite-sex, socioeconomic status, let it go people, just be at peace with people loving whom they will, and enjoy LOVING day  Mrs. Lo

WHO'S THE PARENT ANYWAY

WHO'S THE PARENT ANYWAY?  Christian has really been insisting that I delete my Instagram account.  "Why would I do that," I asked, "I love Instagram."  It's true, I love taking pictures, I love the hashtags, I love that 90% of the photos for the Hashtag "#Crewmom" are mine.  I put up pictures of my shoes, nailart, rowing, family pics, things I think are interesting.  But my 12 yo son stated his cause so succinctly and on the money, that I had to relent.  Because, Christian answered, "Instagram is for teenagers and you're not a teenager."  True enough and definitely true.  The lesson:  it's really important that we listen to our kids and teach them that they can talk to us about what bothers them, and that the reward is, we will listen and, if necessary, take action.  Here was my 12 yo coming to me with something important to him.   He didn't go to his peers, his coaches, his teachers, he went straight to Mom, with the expectation that Mom would listen. And while I love Instagram, I don't love it as much as I love my son, as much as I want him to grow up to be a good person, not a frustrated kid that gets ignored.  Ever the lawyer, we cut a deal.  If Christian creates a walk in pantry for me out of my junk room by his birthday (June 21), Mrs. Lo will delete Instagram and Vine.  I can, however, keep my 3 Facebook accounts and 2 Twitters, and he will not get Facebook or Twitter (believe me, he's not interested).  So far, the junk room is looking pretty good.  My gosh, these negotiations were like the Versailles Peace Treaty.  But more fun, and I get a walk in pantry out of it.  Who's Henry Kissinger now?  Have a great day, everyone!  <3  #MrsLo

Wouldn't it be great is US v. Windsor were decided on the anniversary of US v. Loving?

We are all on "Windsor Watch," awaiting the decision of the U.S. Supreme Court in U.S. v. Windsor, as well as the Proposition 8 case.  Regardless of whether the Windsor case

is decided on the grounds of States' rights, federalism, or whatever else is in the Court's toolbox, the Defense of Marriage Act needs to be overturned.  While Mrs. Lo is staunchly pro-same sex marriage, the reason the Windsor case needs to be affirmed is because the federal government simply has no jurisdiction over Family Law and the DOMA act should never have been enacted.

Today, June 12, is the 46th year anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court's decision in Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967).  Mildred and Richard Loving, then a young married couple, were arrested in 1958 for violating the anti-miscegenation laws, which existed in 16 states at the time, including Virgina, and prohibited marriage between whites and non-whites.  The Lovings, were convicted (they had a child by this time), and their motion to vacate was denied.  The Circuit Court affirmed in part, reversed and remanded and the conviction went up on appeal to the Warren Court.

In one of Mrs. Lo's favorite written decisions ever, the U.S. Supreme Court declared Virginia's anti-miscegenation statute, known as the "Racial Integrity Act of 1924" as violative of the equal-protection clause and therefore unconstitutional.  This rendered the remaining 15 state anti-miscegenation statutes unconstitutional and gave all couples the freedom to marry -- unless those couples were of the same sex.

This brings us to present day, and I have written extensively on the US v. Windsor case, as Edith Windsor is a New Yorker and a personal hero of mine.  Due to the DOMA, although validly married in Canada, and although her marriage to her deceased spouse is recognized now under New York State Law, she still had to pay over $360,000.00 in estate taxes because her marriage was not recognized under Federal Law.

Today is celebrated as "Loving Day" throughout the country, and couples who are of different races are celebrated.  Wouldn't it be great if same sex couples were given the same freedom on Loving Day, by having the US Supreme Court decide US v. Windsor and strike down the DOMA once and for all?  We should call it Loving-Windsor Day if that happens.

NYS Judges are Suing NYS for $51 Million in Salary Increases

The case of "Pines v. State of New York" is now being argued before the Appellate Division, Second Department.  State Judges, from New York State's Supreme Court, argue that the $51,000,000.00 appropriation by the NYS Legislature is lawful.

At issue are retroactive raises of 27% between April 1, 2005 and April 1, 2009.  The raises were to increase in 4 steps from the then amount of $136,770.00 per year for Supreme Court Justices to $174,000.00 per year between April 2005 and April 2009.

The following is quoted from today's New York Law Journal:  "In her 2011 ruling in Pines, Nassau County Supreme Court Justice Karen Murphy accepted the plaintiffs' argument that the Legislature's appropriation of $51 million was sufficient to make the raises legal.

Murphy said the appropriation met the requirement that has been in the state Constitution since the 1920s that judicial pay raises be "established by law" (NYLJ, Feb. 14, 2011).

"The State Constitution does not mandate a specific format for judicial salaries, and consequently, Chapter 51 is enforceable as it stands," Murphy wrote in Pines v. State of New York, 13518/10.

The lead plaintiff is Suffolk County Supreme Court Justice Emily Pines. Other plaintiffs are Supreme Court Justice David Demarest in St. Lawrence County, Acting Queens Supreme Court Justice Jeffrey Lebowitz, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Ferradino in Saratoga County, Supreme Court Justice Ralph Boniello in Niagara County and Nassau County Court Judge Joseph Calabrese." 

CAN MY SPOUSE AND I FILE UNCONTESTED DIVORCE PAPERS OURSELVES?

Yes.  You can.  It is difficult, but certainly not impossible.  

NYS puts the Uncontested Divorce Package online, along with a booklet explaining how to do it.  You will need to read the booklet very carefully and pay very close attention to it.  I would read the booklet once to understand it, then read it again, highlighting with a yellow highlighter what you need to do.  This packet works best for people who have already been separated for a while and have already separated their finances.  It is also easier to use these forms where there are no children of the marriage, your children are grown, or you have already worked these matters out in Family Court with an order of custody and visitation as well as a child support order.  Here is the link to the Uncontested Divorce Forms and Instruction Booklet.  Remember, that unless you qualify for and make application for "in pauperis" status, you will need to write checks out to your local County Clerk's office for various filing fees, starting with the Index number application.  Here is the link:  http://www.nycourts.gov/divorce/forms.shtml